i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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