Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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