There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
