I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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