Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
