I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
