I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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