This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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