I just pynch a tree in the face
I skipped work to stalk him.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Randomize
