We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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