got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize