I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
