umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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