I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Houston, we have a blender
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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