So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
