to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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