it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
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my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
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I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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