1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
