and you said cock pushups were impossible
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
