Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
