just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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