If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
COCAINE IS GR8
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize