while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
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Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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