I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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