Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
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You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Couch. On fire.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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