I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
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She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
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Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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