i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
