You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize