My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
