idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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