apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
