Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
