great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
