I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
