Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
