No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
