we have pet lesbian snakes
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
