i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
