Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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