was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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