You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
