Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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