at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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