i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
