But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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