Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
