Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
