do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
