I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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