You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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