Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
