Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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