We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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