i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
