Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
