well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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