It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
