I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
