do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
