Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
