ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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